Roving Reporters Cricket Club

Despite rumours abound that Mervyn Westfield has been touted to join Roving Reporters Cricket Club in 2012 following his custodial sentence, RRCC President Roger Jones has distanced himself from the speculation.

He comments....."Unfortunately, Essex supporters have infiltrated this club over the years and, although we have been forced to put up with them consistently talking nonsence week in week out, we're not willing to take on their Essex cheaters to bring down the club any futher.  If I had my way, there would be a cap on Essex fans playing for our team this coming season, preferably with only one allowed each week to weed out any future betting scams and contraversy, and to increase the quality of conversation with civilised county cricket supporters, particularly those following Kent."

Responding to accusations that he deliberately bowled an over that went for 30 runs against Knebworth last year, as part of a far-eastern (Southend-On-Sea) betting syndicate, John Rogan said  "......I'm tellin' ya, I didn't deliberately bowl that crap and I ain't no cheat.  Although I claim to be from Essex, I ain't.  I'm from 'ertfordshire and proud of it. I can't 'elp if that aussie fella smashed me to all ends of Knebworth and back, even if Popeye only went for 30 runs off 'is 8 overs bowling to the same batsman.  Now bugga off, Apple-Danish is on the other line and he has a hot tip for me......"

Former club captain Jonathan Jenkins declined to comment on speculation that John Rogan won a new house betting on the sex of his baby.